Love is able to find us literally anywhere, including in community music ensembles. If you celebrate Valentine’s Day and enjoy learning how various couples met, this blog’s for you. Musicians can love just as much as anyone else! (And to my singleton readers: I will not judge you for defying or ignoring the holiday. Been there, done that. However, if you’re still on the hunt, consider taking up an instrument. Joining a band just might change your life, in more ways than you think.)
Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash
When I asked my far-reaching circle of coupled musician friends to contribute to this blog, I got just as many “we-met-in-school” stories as I did post-graduation stories. I didn’t include the school stories, because I’ve found that meeting someone in high school or college—and eventually marrying that someone—seems to happen much more frequently than meeting/marrying someone later in life. I want to highlight the underdogs, those who met in a slightly more non-traditional manner.
It doesn’t matter whether they were marching, concertizing, or jazzing – love found them! Names have been shortened to initials to protect the innocent.
Ride
This is a hilarious story—until the sad ending. Happily, my baritone sax-playing friend has moved on to find another.
I didn’t have a car when I first moved to Austin. The flute player who was giving me rides to rehearsal broke her hand and wouldn’t be going for a while. So I took a bus to rehearsal (busses in Austin only ran till 7 pm at the time), scanned the roster for someone in the same phone exchange as mine, marched over to the tuba section, and told the guy, “You. You’re giving me a ride home from rehearsal.” After a few months of that, he sort of asked me out on a date (“You’re probably already going to the symphony concert at the park this Friday, but you probably don’t have a ride yet, so I’ll pick you up.”) Three years of talking his ears off, and he finally realized that we should get married (I knew it after six months). We had celebrated our 25th anniversary in May 2010, 28 years of weekly rehearsals together, all told, when he died suddenly in July 2010.
Dumped
Sometimes it takes a few decades for a spark to ignite. I’ve traveled and performed with this jazz trombonist and his wife, and they’re both great people.
We met and dated as graduate students at Ithaca College in 1979-80 (at the time she dumped me, unceremoniously), but reconnected in 2011 in the Maryland Defense Force Band. We got married a year later. Every time I see our mutual friend I tell him “Thank you” for getting P. to come and play with the MDDF Band; he always replies, “You’re welcome.”
Colts
I attended college with this taciturn trombonist, who apparently has no problem dating himself with his story. How long ago did the Colts leave Baltimore?
We met in the Baltimore Colts Marching Band during the Fells Point Fun Festival.
Retirement
This older couple (one plays trumpet and French horn, the other plays flute) keeps active well into their golden years. Inspiring!
We met singing madrigals in 1960. Retaking up band instruments to supplant singing has been a post-retirement activity. We still sing in church choir, small groups, and most recently three concerts in Bruges, Ghent, and Ypres Belgium with RBS Europa Choir.
Patience
I seem to know a plethora of trombonists who found love in community groups. This one, another college friend, shares her jazz band story.
We met in Crabtowne Big Band. The band had a regular weeknight gig at King of France tavern in Annapolis. I joined the band a week or two before J. Because we were both newbies (and sat next to each other in the trombone section), we started talking and became good friends. At the time I was dating someone else, so I didn’t look at him that way, but he said it was love at first sight. He waited patiently through two boyfriends before asking me out on a date, and we’ve now been married for 15 years.
Neet
I met both of these awesome people in a local brass band, just as they started dating (if memory serves). He’s a science guy who plays trumpet and baritone horn. Both are super smart.
When I saw her play tuba, I knew I was in deep trouble. Tried to resist for weeks, but finally gave in…and told her she was “neet.”
So there you have it – proof that cupid’s arrow can easily jab through metal instruments and strike the hearts of adult musicians of all shapes and sizes. Always gives the warm fuzzies.
As for me, well…my lady and I have been dating for six months (and yes, she plays trombone!) with no signs of slowing down. We’re in a jazz band and a concert band (where we met) together. As the story goes, I have another trombone friend to thank for getting her to agree to that first date.
How about you? Any other non-school-age musician love stories out there (either yours or someone you know)?